Lessons from India, Pt. 1 (and wedding pictures!)

Because India is just plain ridiculous, I’ve definitely learned some valuable lessons in how to survive on a daily basis that I thought might be an interesting read for you all. This is just the first two; the rest will be added sometime throughout the trip when I discover something new.

Lesson One: Acquiring toilet paper is harder than you would think

Indians use squat toilets without toilet paper, one of those experiences I wish you didn’t have to cross off the bingo game, but yes, I have experienced one of these beasts and gained a new respect for Indian women. Straddling a ceramic pit, you hike up your kurta (long Indian style shirt that is about knee length) and untie your extra large drawstring pants. Balancing on your toes while clutching the bottom of your shirt, your pants, your drawstring, and franticly realizing that you don’t possess a fourth arm to stop your scarf from resting in the suspicious looking puddle you’re trying so hard to avoid, you do your business, realize you are terrible at aiming, and then stand in horror as you further realize there is no toilet paper in sight. Instead of toilet paper, Indians use buckets of water poured onto the floor to remove their lovely “business” from their behinds. After this experience, I’ve come to understand why the floor of the bathroom is always wet. I now wear shoes in the bathroom.

Because of said lack of paper usage, I can walk into any major grocery store and still receive blank stares upon asking where the toilet paper is (in Hindi!). In response to that question, I’ve been directed to children’s diapers, menstrual pads, and a box of Kleenex that definitely was a step in the right direction. Shiveta and I, however, have won at this game of toilet paper hide and seek. Located on a side street is a little shop filled with generic bottles of soap and shampoo. You waltz up to the counter (as all the merchandise is located behind the counter, no browsing here!), plop down 35 rupees and gleefully take whichever roll the bearded man chooses to hand over. It’s kind of like Russian Roulette, only with toilet paper. Sometimes you’re lucky and are greeted with a bright pink roll of toilet paper named “Winter Fresh” (which is the current roll gracing our bathroom. Oh yes, one bathroom in our apartment has a “western style” toilet. Hoorah for that!). This pink beauty brightens my mornings while not chaffing my underside too much. Other times you get the suitably named “Maple”, or the light green toned “Magic” roll that is far from magical. All you can do at times like these is dream of those wonderful days you spent with “Winter Fresh”. I hope in the near future, I can wipe my behind with something inspirational. Something like “Mountain Mist” or “Moonlight Sonata”. Yes, that would be lovely.

Lesson Two: Everything is Good for Digestion

Indian women, on top of being balancing queens when it comes to the squatter, happen to all be self proclaimed experts in digestive health. They know that milky curd and bananas can plug a leaky faucet any day. They know that food from their own kitchen is the only food safe to eat in India. They know ginger is good for sleeping and of course realize that a cup of hot chai does away with stress. However, more so than any of this, they can “properly” identify all food that is good for digestion. I don’t believe a meal has passed where I haven’t heard the phrase “Cao (eat), good for digestion”. Biscuits, rice, cardamom, potato, eggplant, roti, yogurt, sickly sweet Prasad… yep, you guessed it, all “good for digestion”. Sometimes I think she says these things just to make us eat more. “Here, you should eat this third helping of really rich potato in coconut sauce thing, it’ll help with your digestion”. Our mommi-ji is not alone on this matter. During lunch time at school I hear jokes all the time from other students that the food we’re eating is good for digestion. I think if anything right now, judging by the amount of toilet paper I have been consuming, I need something to hinder my digestion….

And just to appease the masses, pictures from the wedding!

All fancy in the suit I had made for me by the tailor.

It's a bindi not a pimple I swear!

My Host Brother Akshay

My Host Sister Akshara


Mommi-ji and I


Me, my host brother, and some cousins who also live in the same apartment building
Camels in Clothing at a Wedding! How awesome!